Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Journey Of My Heart...

Laguna Beach, CA - May 2013

The journey of my heart has led me to many destinations over the years. With a deep yearning for greater purpose and to learn to live in the stillness no matter the storm, I have opened my heart to receiving the many lessons that this time has offered. 

In 2009, I left my home in Wisconsin, to go on a spiritual pilgrimage that led me to Sedona, AZ, Ashland, OR, and Mount Shasta, CA. I was thankful that my brother Roger was able to join me as he offered a great amount of spiritual support.

The quest was to discover the greater meaning behind life's trials, to move forward and to forgive. At the time, I had no idea the extent of where this adventure would take me. My heart was grieving the loss of my life and identity as I knew it. I learned to accept with gratitude the trials because within each is an offering of blessing for what has come before that helps us to realize who we are, our capacities, and how to relate to others who are going through challenging times as well.

Since 2009, this awakening has led me to the island of Gran Canaria, to the foothills of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, to the foothills of the Santa Ana Mountains in California, to my current destination in the Caribbean on Vieques Island, Puerto Rico.

Much of my journey over the past few years was connected to the mission of the non-profit organization in which I worked for, whose dedication was to the spiritual regeneration of humanity through the spiritual retreat centers that they operated. It was a mission that was very complementary to my heart and in the direction that I wished to focus energy.

With impending changes on the horizon, it gave my heart time to evaluate what it needed. With each passing change, my heart ached a little more until I reached a point where all I could hear my heart call for were the two simple words I had uttered several times as a mother...'time out!'

The realization hit me that I needed a time out. A neutral space to focus on providing nourishment to my listen to the Earth, to be in nature, to see the magic and possibilities in greater depth, to re-discover me. Who am I? What are my dreams? What is next? What can I do to be self sustaining - that will also benefit others? These are questions that I am granting myself the time to evaluate.

I want to treat my body as a temple...for the miracle that it is. Thinking of everything it does every second to remain breathing is a miracle no matter what it looks like. Being healthy, happy, solid in my core understanding of Spirit within, and clarifying what my gifts are to further assist others is at the top of my list. This adventure in self discovery is honoring the space to provide love and nourishment for me.

This new chapter of the quest was sparked when I learned that my position would be terminated when the management was shifting from a non-profit to a for profit status. I was invited to apply for a job with the new management, but punching a time clock, wearing a uniform, being told how I can and cannot sign my emails, and conforming to the standards of 'Corporate America' were a little hard for me to swallow. It was a difficult decision because the offer would be with a wonderful company...where I had already developed some beautiful friendships.

Realizing that it had been a huge feat for me to break out of the pattern of needing others approval and freeing myself from the box of others 'standards', the decision called for honoring my Spirit. It would be self defeating to put myself in this situation. So, I decided to listen to my heart and look for a new plan.

I had remembered a subscription service from years back when I had dreamed about living in exotic places called 'Caretaker Gazette'. It seemed it was time to bring some old dreams back to light. It only took two issues to see an interesting ad, calling for a house sitter to care for a small home, garden, and four cats off the coast of Puerto Rico. I responded and quickly began conversations with the homeowner.

I continued to ask my favorite Access Consciousness questions, "What else is possible, and how does it get any better than this?" and letting the Universe come up with possible alternatives for my life that allowed me to stay in integrity and keep promises that were already made.

My favorite meditation place at Sunrise Ranch.
A video on gratitude and the 'Law of Attraction'.
In my interactions with the homeowner, some wonderful synchronicities were showing up.  He was a musician, an author, and an artist...all qualities that I was looking to bring out through my gifts during my time of self discovery. He was offering me his office and half of his home to create in while he returned to New York City for five moths. During one of our emails, he mentioned, "I forgot to tell you about our beaches of Vieques...50 steps from the house is 'Glass Beach'".

What he didn't realize is one of the ways that I would unwind on my weekends off is to go to Laguna Beach and run the shoreline with my boyfriend. We would stop at Sea Glass Beach and sit in the sand picking up sea glass. I would sift my hands into the warm sand, giving my love to the Earth and the ocean. Finding each piece of glass would fill my heart with gratitude, as if it were a treasure.

As I continued my investigations on Vieques the pattern of synchronicity continued. I discovered that on Vieques Island, they have one of the brightest bio-luminescent bays on the planet. Six months prior, I was mesmerized by a photograph taken of bio-luminescent waters off the coast of the Maldive Islands. My heart was captured by the moment and I must have stared at the picture for an hour, pouring my love out and appreciating the beauty of our Earth. (Google search 'maldive islands bioluminescence' and click on images to view and you will likely have a similar feeling of being in awe.)

The homeowner then sent me a copy of his book, 'Transform8tion'. Okay, Universe, how else possibly could the stars be aligning in my favor. This little book resonated with everything that I had been studying for over the past decade.

My brother then told me, "you don't want to go to is toxic and was a major bombing site of our Navy". I researched further and discovered he was right. Our US Navy had used Vieques Island for 60 years - pouring down millions of pounds of bombs, agent orange, grenades, and taking over approximately 1/3 of the island while displacing many of the natives of this land.  

The bombing experimentation ceased ten years ago and the land once used by our military is now protected as a National Wildlife Refuge. Whether it is toxic or not is still being determined. Studies have been done that do not show levels of toxicity. There are also claims of higher than average cancer rates, which has yet to be confirmed, and there are many conflicting beliefs. From what I can see it is a beautiful island occupied by many amazing and wonderful people as well as a plentiful amount of wildlife - including wild horses, sea turtles, iguanas, and a large array of many colorful fish.

When I evaluated my brother's concern, the realization came to me that if I wanted to give more love and healing energy to the Earth and humanity, this would likely be the best possible place for me to be.

When I finally received the call with the offer for being 'one of the caretakers' for this wonderful man's property and cats.  My smile reached from ear to ear as I could feel how greatly aligned with my heart this choice was.

In the spirit of wanting to learn how to play the guitar, I asked if one was available on site or would I have to bring my own? He replied that he had a little Martin Backpacker guitar that I would be welcome to play - which is identical to the one that I own. It seemed as though Divine guidance was at work and had called me, chose me, to be on Vieques Island. This has been a wonderful blessing.

Being in a great relationship with a wonderful man, it was difficult to tell him of my desire to make this arrangement for much needed time for 'me'. I am grateful he was able to support my decision with understanding and has chosen to continue being a wonderful contribution in my life.

So this journey is very much about love. Loving the Earth, loving her beautiful creatures, and loving 'me'. A time to heal, to grow, to honor, to listen, to trust, to love, and to contribute. Thank you for joining me on the journey of my heart.

In gratitude, love and service.


Note: In keeping the accuracy of my story in tact, The Emissaries of Divine Light later established that their plan for changing management at Glen Ivy Center would not work. As of June 30, 2013, they have closed Glen Ivy Center, and the future of this beautiful and sacred land is unknown at this time.

In gratitude to all my dear friends at Glen Ivy who are also writing a new chapter as they move forward. Also, my love is with the amazing facilitators I have been blessed to be able to work with in booking your programs. My love to each of you and most sincere apologies to those that we were unable to follow through on our agreement to host your programs at Glen Ivy.

(Please feel free to comment and sharing this journey with others through Facebook is appreciated.)

*** Copyright by Jacqueline Bambenek, Vibrational Energy Solutions ***

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